I wish I could say that I immediately recognized the problem and snapped out of it...
But I did decide to start giving thanks in the midst of my every day tasks.
At first, it was a bit contrived - it felt, stiff, unnatural - like a new pair of shoes...
Thank you, God for these sticky fingerprints on the table...*sigh*
Thank you, God for this dirty laundry...*frown*
But I was determined to beat the grumpies and I persevered....
While cleaning up legos for the millionth time, I could say
"thank you, God for my little man's boundless creativity...and a special friend to share it with..."While stepping over my precious girl's hardshoes (for Irish Dance) I said
"thank you, God for her talent, grace and beauty...thank you for the friends that share her passion..."While bringing another drink to little one (who really should have been asleep) I said
"thank you, God that seeing me makes her feel safe."
You know what? All of those were sincere.
No exaggerated sighs.
Even a few wistful smiles as I realized that this stage of my life won't last forever, and I had better enjoy it now, or regret it later.
I'm glad I pushed through. It was amazing to watch God recognize my feeble efforts at being thankful. It was also amazing to see how quickly my heart followed. Soon it wasn't just a mind-exercise, it was honest-to-goodness thanksgiving and praise.
I wish I could tell you that thanksgiving immediately springs to my lips - but at least I'm thinking about it. And that is a start.
Wishing you lots of true thanksgiving this week!