Not Qualified, but Called!

It was a simple enough question...

"What makes you think you are qualified to homeschool your children?"

But I must admit, I was unprepared to answer the woman asking it as I stood in the cafeteria line at the hospital.

Join me over at A Mother's Heritage to read what I wish I would have said...

The myth of "me" time...

I've heard it several different ways, but the gist is always the same...

I could never homeschool my kids. I need some "me" time.

This statement has always made me bristle. I can't really explain why, but I kind of hate the presumption that:
#1: because I homeschool I am somehow above selfishness (soooooo not true!)
#2: we deserve "me" time

Let me take off my superhero cape for a moment as dispel myth #1. Homeschooling your children does not confer superhuman abilities to overcome frustration and selfishness in any mother. In fact, it gives you innumerable opportunities to experience frustration and selfishness.  *wink* The difference is, most homeschooling moms I know choose not to give in to their flesh and prayerfully submit to their calling. Does this mean it is easy? um, no!

Case in point: Last week was a nightmare. Truly! No one seemed to be in the right frame of mind to do school (including the momma) and each day was a monumental struggle. By Monday evening, an entire week's worth of weariness had settled in. My amazing husband saved the day by arranging a coffee date with a dear friend (and fellow homeschooling mom) so I could recharge my attitude.

image courtesy Stuart Miles
freedigitalphotos.net

I suppose it could be said that this was "me" time...But that isn't how I see it. You see, the focus -for both my friend and I - was NOT on "woe is me, this is soooo hard" but rather encouraging each other and building each other up to face the rest of the week with a better heart attitude.

Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17 ESV

Don't get me wrong, I love a mom's night out as much as the next homeschooling mom...but "me" time? Really?!?

I think that is the wrong focus. With our time away, shouldn't our focus be on refreshing ourselves so we can be a better wife and mom?

That's just what happened with our coffee date. We commiserated with each other. Listened to each other. Encouraged each other (or, at least I hope she was encouraged!). We left the coffee shop ready to face another few days of homeschooling.

So please grab a girlfriend and take some precious time to refresh your heart. It will make you a better mom, a better wife, a better friend. When you are running on empty it is hard to give. Time with the Lord will refill us with renewed energy and vision. Time with a dear friend can give you the strength to move forward.

Just please remember, "Me" time is a myth.

Raising children is hard. Being a wife is a difficult job even if you are married to a wonderful man. If all I focus on is "me" then my kids and husband will suffer. My attitude will bottom out and everything in our home will be yucky. (sorry, I really couldn't think of a better word.) "Me" time assumes that how I feel is more important than anything or anyone else.

What if, instead of "me" time, we focused on "Jesus time"? That is the only thing that promises to make us both better wives and mothers.

Sprinkle in a few times of refreshment and encouragement with other Godly women and that sounds like a recipe for success.

Linking Up:
The Straightened Path
These Five of Mine Plus Two
The Better Mom

Please don't read this post...

I've been thinking a lot lately about being authentic...about ridding my life of hypocrisy and living with my heart fully engaged...

As I watch the numbers on my blog hits climb, I'm humbled to think that God can use my words to reach others, and I pray for all of you who read this little blog.

But, I've also been convicted that maybe some of you shouldn't be reading these posts...

WHAT!!???

I know, that sounds crazy - right?

Hang in there a moment. 

Today, I feel that God wants me to gently remind all who read this why you maybe shouldn't read this post. It's about priorities, and I want to make sure that above all, you are drawing closer to God. There are only 24 hours in a day, and only so much you can accomplish....

image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono freedigitalphotos.net

So...

If you haven't spent time in prayer, please don't read this post! 

Let God's presence fill you first.

If you haven't read your Bible today, please don't read this post! 

God's Word is Living Water, and my words are empty and ineffective if you are thirsty.

Behold, I long for your precepts;

in your righteousness give me life!

Psalm 119: 40

Today I urge you not to read this post, but rather

seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness...

Matthew 6:33

Have a blessed day! : )

Linked up with:

Weekend Whatever at Your Thriving Family

Our Simple Country Life

Fear not...

Fear...

Be honest for a moment. When you first read that word, where did your mind go?

Fear is something that I have struggled with through my whole life. And while I've made some progress in this area, God isn't finished with me yet.

Fear, for me, is that little whisper...

you aren't good enough...

you don't deserve this...

And sometimes I'm secretly afraid that the little voice is right!

A dear friend of mine sent me some information about a writing opportunity, and immediately my mind went to fear.

What if they hate what I write?

Could I handle the rejection?

What makes you think that anyone wants to read what you write anyway?

I had almost convinced myself that this just simply wasn't for me, when the Lord brought this verse to my mind...

fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 ESV

In that verse, God doesn't say that he'd rather I wasn't so afraid of everything. 

He commands me to fear not because he is with me. And I need to take a deep breath and remember that I have nothing to fear with my Heavenly Father by my side. I've seen time and time again that he will never leave me or forsake me, and soaking in his presence will calm my anxious thoughts.

Whether or not He wants me to pursue this writing venture remains to be seen...

What I do know with certainty is that he is after my thought life - and yours too! We are of no real use for His glory if we're busy cowering in fear over what others may think or say.

Success will come when we can banish that "little voice" and learn to listen only to what our God has to say to us.

Homeschooling with little ones...

One of the most common questions I get as a homeschooling mother is:

What do you do with your little one(s) while you do school?

The best answer I can give is, a lot of training (for both mommy and little one)! 

Our first year of homeschooling, Precious Girl was in 2nd grade and Little Man was 3 and, toward the end of the year, Little One joined our family... It was a baptism by fire to be sure, but we not only survived our first year, we loved it!

Little man was very easy to occupy while I did school. He was happy to sit at the table with us and color, draw, play with playdoh or play quietly with his blocks, trains and legos. I also made sure that he had lots of his own worksheets to do. 

He felt included in homeschooling and that was my goal. When I read out loud to Precious Girl, he learned to sit in my lap and listen, or play quietly in the same room. Most of the time, even though he may not have understood the story, he seemed to enjoy being with us. At that point, little one was still a newborn and was easy. I learned to save our read alouds for times when I'd need to nurse or when she'd be awake. Listening to my voice as I held her close seemed to soothe her.

The following year, Little Man began more formal preschool. There are many wonderful FREE websites to print preschool worksheets! (I'll post more about that tomorrow.)

Several mornings a week, he would do his worksheets with me while Precious Girl (now in 3rd grade) did her reading, or finished her math problems. We still tried to fit school around Little One's nap schedule - the subjects where I needed to be very hands-on were done during this time. 

listening to a story

When Little Man was not doing school, he was still with us. I had lots of art supplies in a box that he could get out any time he wanted. I also encouraged him to look at books (the library is still our best resource!!!) and play quietly with action figures, cars and legos. He also loved to dress up!

improvised "Knight" costume : )

When Precious Girl started 4th grade, Little One suddenly turned into a tornado of activity! (I can smile about all of this now, but it really did stretch me at the time!!) We still did the mommy-intensive stuff while she napped, except this time, I had to learn to divide my time between Precious Girl and Little Man - who was in Kindergarten. This was difficult at times, but we never doubted this is what we were called to do. God's grace is sufficient for the days when no one napped and chaos seemed to abound. (*smile*) 

Little One is very different from her naturally more content older brother. Training her to sit quietly or to amuse herself during school time is something we still work on. (Just being honest!) 

Having toys, games and activities she could only use in our school room worked well during that busy toddler stage. I also really made an effort to spend special time with her during our schooling, even if it was just holding her while she colored or drew. I made her an activity box that contained beads, cereal or noodles she could string on yarn (I just rotated supplies - toddler boredom is the enemy!). I also got out playdoh to keep little fingers busy. 

Last year was the most challenging by far! 

Precious Girl was in 5th Grade and her work load intensified. Little Man was in 1st Grade and really struggling to read. Little One seemed to get into trouble every time I turned my back on her! The worst day was the day she got into the Sharpies and colored all over her arms and legs during "nap time." 

I did a lot of praying for energy and inspiration. I learned that Little One got into trouble most when she didn't feel she was getting enough of me. Before we started school, I would read to her and snuggle with her. While we did our school, I would make sure to hold her on my lap while I read and keep her busy!

Here are my top 5 suggestions for things to do for Little Ones:

1. PRAY! Before you even start your school day, drop to your knees and ask God for what you'll need for your day! Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established. (Prov. 16:3) Praying over your lesson plans is also a good idea.

2. BE PREPARED! Boredom is the enemy. Have a variety of activities and toys that are only for the school room. A few minutes of preparation for Little Ones the night before will save hours of heartache!

3. BE FLEXIBLE! Ok, this is not my strong suit, but this rough edge has received a lot of gentle sanding by my Heavenly Father. If your little one is melting down, they may just need some attention. Loving correction of a little one's inappropriate behavior is time consuming, but vitally important! If nothing is working, a little laughter goes a long way. Keep it cheerful and...

4. REMEMBER WHY YOU'RE HOMESCHOOLING! There will be days that test your resolve (and perhaps your sanity!) But keeping your eyes on your goals and remembering your calling will get you through! Also remember that little ones grow quickly...these days are fleeting! Strive to enjoy them.

5. KEEP IT SIMPLE! You don't have to spend a fortune on the latest preschool curriculum or fancy toys. Containers with something as simple as rice or even water can provide entertainment for little fingers. Really your little ones just want to feel a part of what you're doing with older children.

It is so worth it! If you are in the trenches, so to speak, hang in there! Your reward will be great!

Tomorrow I'll share some of my favorite websites for pre-school and toddler friendly activities!

Perfectly equipped...

We've been dealing with some sickness around here lately. My frailty and insufficiency seem insurmountable in times when I am so needed. I am poignantly aware of my inability to do anything besides minister to my family's needs.

God, I feel...so...not enough...help me!

image courtesy of arkorn freedigitalphotos.net

It is that feeling of helplessness that brings my thinking down and I become weary and (dare I admit it?) irritable...I feel like I need to explain to my loved ones, I'm doing everything I can. I am sorry it isn't enough...

But God showed me that it is...

image courtesy of renjith krishnan freedigitalphotos.net

Growing up, my mother seemed perfectly calm and able to deal with any illness. She is a nurse and that is her calling. And I often wish, in the face of sickness, that I could be more like her...

Me? I just want to cry and maybe run away... And I have to repeat: I will not throw up, (breathe,) I will not throw up...as I tell Little Man that it will be ok.

He looks at me with those beautifully clear not-quite-blue eyes, and says, "I love you, Mommy. I'm glad you are here."

And I realize that my children and husband don't need me to be like my mother.

They need... me. 

The me that cries and fusses over them when they are sick. The me that prays over them. The me that gets mad at sickness of any kind and considers germ elimination a kind of mommy-warfare...

I needed to transform my thinking by renewing my mind...
I don't need to be supermom.
It's ok that I hurt when my precious children are sick.
It's ok if I cry when I hold them.
It's ok that I am not perfect. They don't need or expect me to be.

So as I scrub, I pray. I try to recall as many scriptures as I can about health and healing... And I can point their eyes to a loving God who heals. And so, I am...enough.

I am imperfectly perfectly equipped to be there for my children.

And I can smile at yet another spiritual truth I have learned while in the trenches of mothering.

Linking up:
Growing Home: Teach Me Tuesday
Far Above Rubies: Domestically Divine
Time Warp Wife: Titus 2 Tuesdays

Why I like being homeschooled...Precious Girl responds

Yesterday, I wrote about our Homeschooling Testimony. You can read it here if you missed it.

Today, as I was pondering what more to write, Precious Girl herself offered to do a "guest post" of sorts. She knew that I was sharing why we decided to homeschool, and wanted to give her perspective on why she likes being homeschooled.

Before school today, she wrote a list of her top reasons why homeschooling works for her. It was really interesting to see her perspective - especially since this was her project, not something I had her do.

Why I Like Being Homeschooled

I feel like I learn a lot.
I can have any level textbook that I need for my subjects.
No one makes me do a certain grade's work.
I can work individually on anything that I have trouble with.
I can take as long as I need to master things.
I like to be at home.
I feel relaxed and ready to learn.
I can have pajama days if I want.
I like not having any worries about mean teachers.
I like having fun at school.
We make things fun when we do school.
We laugh at silly things that happen.
We like being together.


I couldn't have said it any better.

Why we homeschool...our testimony...

Yesterday, I wrote a response (prompted by Kristy at Little Natural Cottage) to those who say "Oh, I could never homeschool..." You can read it here if you missed it.

Today, I want to share with you my "homeschooling testimony."

Twelve years ago when I was pregnant with Precious Girl, I was certain that she would go to school. I mean, that is just what you do, right? You give birth, raise them for a few years and then hand them off to a school. I never thought twice about that. The only decision we consciously made concerning her education was to enroll her in a Christian School.

I was also certain that I would cry and miss her terribly (and I did). In fact, if you had asked me about homeschooling, I would have looked at you funny...I really don't think I had heard of it.

Kindergarten came and went, and she had an absolutely wonderful experience. But Christian School tuition was expensive and Little Man was 2 years old...We prayed and knew that short of bags of money falling from heaven (they didn't) private school wasn't in the budget.

We sent Precious Girl to public school for first grade. I'll admit, we both had some misgivings, but we were determined that we were on the right path. I now was aware of homeschooling but didn't think too highly of it. And then, I made the fatal statement, "I will never homeschool my kids. That's weird." I know, famous last words...

First grade for Precious Girl was a breeze. Her teacher, wonderful. Her classmates, friendly. She was learning and growing well and we had few problems (other than her chattiness during class).

Little Man was going to a friend's house for some preschool classes (she was, after all, a qualified teacher) when Precious Girl began 2nd grade. I had mornings alone (for a few hours anyway) but I honestly don't remember what I did, except throw up...We just found out we were expecting Little One and morning sickness (which is misnamed by the way) was my constant companion. I would walk Precious Girl to the bus stop, come back and throw up, and then try not to throw up in the car to take Little Man to preschool... Those were the days...

Then, we began to notice changes in Precious Girl...

She was moody, withdrawn, not herself...

We tried to brush it off. We told ourselves it was because I was so sick that I was barely functional. But that wasn't the truth...

In November, we went to our parent teacher conference and it forever changed our lives. The teacher opened with "Your daughter is mean and nasty."

I will never forget how time seemed to stop and those words just echoed around in my head... Mean and nasty...she must have the wrong folder...Mean and nasty...not my Precious Girl...I looked out into the hallway and watched her quietly sitting in a chair reading. Somehow I managed not to burst into tears.

Somehow, my husband and I managed to sit through the rest of the meeting. I honestly cannot remember anything else that was said. We had come with a list of questions and ideas and we asked none of them...

I wasn't angry. That came later. I was stunned, shocked and quite sure of one thing - Precious Girl would not step foot into that classroom ever again.

I poured out my heart to God and knew that only he could direct our steps. As I laid on my bed a few nights later exhausted and defeated, I knew with a quiet certainty that we should homeschool. And soon so did my husband. Only God could change both of our hearts simultaneously. That was a miracle!

It took the rest of 2nd grade at home to restore Precious Girl to the bright, happy child that she had been. Little One joined our family just before the end of our first homeschooling year, and we've never looked back.

While I have fantasized (on those really tough days) about putting my little cherubs on the school bus and waving goodbye, I know that is not right for our family, at least not now.

So, now we homeschool. And, no, I haven't started making my own bread (just pizza crust) or sewing our clothing (*wink*). And, no we haven't become really weird (at least I don't think so). My kids are socialized just fine and we do work very hard in our little classroom.

I don't worry about next year, or ninth grade or senior year. I take one day at a time. Each day his mercies are new, and I am so thankful.

Linking up:
Deep Roots at Home Encouraging One Another Link Up
Women Living Well Living Well Wednesday
A Wise Woman Builds her Home
Our Simple Country Life Hearts for Home Thursdays

"Oh, I could never homeschool..."

My fellow homeschooling mom, Kristy, from Little Natural Cottage wrote a post yesterday entitled "Why I'm Not Cut Out to be A Homeschooling Mom." (read it here.)

When I read it, I had an immediate "Amen!" reaction to what she said.

It intrigues me when people, upon finding out I homeschool our kids, tell me some variation of "Oh, I couldn't do what you do, I'd go crazy with my kids all day..." as if I am somehow more patient and less prone to insanity than they are...

Truth is, I'm just a big old mess. Shocking, huh?

I'm impatient...
Just like everyone else, my patience unravels by the end of the day. After escorting Little One back upstairs for "quiet time" for the 23rd time (I'm not kidding either. This really happened yesterday.) my "stay in your room, please" was a bit less gentle than the first 5 or so times.

image courtesy of idea go freedigitalphotos.net

I get frustrated...
When Little Man completely forgot how to multiply over the week off at Christmas, I freaked out...just a little...

I war against my selfishness...
And when Precious Girl came downstairs at 10p.m. telling me she finished reading the book I had 5 days worth of elaborate lesson plans for (for the 2nd day in a ROW)...steam rose from my ears...


You see, my Super Hero cape (you know the one people seem to think I have as a homeschooling mom) doesn't confer any sort of super patience, gentleness or kindness on me. Truth be told, my cape would probably look like a slightly worn and tattered pink bathrobe and be just about as effective at holding back the forces of evil in my home.

My natural tendency is to be selfish and horrible. Are you shocked? You shouldn't be. I am only human. And I am most certainly NOT supermom.

I would love to have some "free time" to myself...

although, I'm not sure I even understand those words, "free time" but it sounds lovely...

...and yes, there are days when I fantasize about sending little people on that Big Yellow Bus 

and having a whole day to sit and read scriptures and do a Bible study

and finally start some of those projects I've wanted to do ...

But, homeschooling isn't about me. 

It's actually not even about my kids. 

It's about God and honoring Him first in our home.

Truly, the "super powers" some seem to think Homeschooling Moms possess, come in the form of constant prayer and from the very love-worn Bible that I start my day with. I am NOT cut out to be a homeschooling mom, and neither are you UNLESS you are willing to humbly allow God to mold you into one.

image courtesy of graur razvan ionut freedigitalphotos.net

That involves a rather lengthy process of sanding rough edges, refining, and repentance...

I'm still being molded. It's not always easy, but it is always worth it. I still war against my flesh, but victory will come...

And even on the days when I just want to run out of the schoolroom screaming, (am I the only one who has those?) I'm glad we're doing this. And I wouldn't change it for anything,

not even a shiny red superhero cape.

Linking up:

Time-Warp Wife: Titus 2 Tuesdays
Far above Rubies: Domestically Divine Tuesday
Growing Home: Teach Me Tuesday
Weekend Whatever Your Thriving Family

A Merry "little" Christmas...

I have that nagging pain in my lower back again...

Maybe you have one of those little "reminders" too? You know, the pain that is brought on by stress...

...self-inflicted stress??

As I spent time with God this weekend, I heard him tell me to "scale back" my to-do list.

*sigh*

Image Courtesy of Rawich, Free Digital Photos.net

I had a million excuses reasons why I couldn't shouldn't would rather not...

But God, I've only baked Molasses Cookies...You know I always bake dozens of cookies and give them to people on beautifully decorated plates...

He said, "but you had a wonderful time baking Molasses Cookies with your husband"...

Yes, but, I didn't make any hand-made Christmas Cards or gift tags...Truth be told, I haven't even sent any store bought cards...

He said, "but you sat and watched a movie with Little One today"... 

Yes, but, I...

and then it hit me...

Oh dear, I've really become enslaved to my to-do list again, haven't I?

Image courtesy of Naito8, Free Digital Photos.net

Let's face it, perfectly-wrapped presents and dozens of cookies on pretty plates are nice, but they have nothing to do with Jesus. God wants us to celebrate the birth of His Son, and share that Good News with a dark world.

So when did it become about cookies, cards and the billion other things we've made Christmas about? I got so focused on making this a wonderfully memorable season of preparation for Christmas, that I forgot to seize opportunities to make memories...

So, I'll scale back....And I'll delight in imperfectly wrapped presents, Christmas Carols a little off key, cookie crumbs on every surface...

...but most of all, I'll remember this Christmas as the one that freed me from my own expectations.



Linking up:


Chatting at the Sky
&

A funny Christmas story...

We've been decorating the house for Christmas over the last few days. Everything looks so pretty decked out in its Christmas finery - the twinkling lights, the glow of candles, the smell of fresh-cut pine and bayberry candles...

I treated Little One to a set of nativity scene window clings - something to keep her fingers off of the Christmas ornaments. These clings are arranged and rearranged by her whenever the mood strikes.

This morning, I asked her to tell me the Christmas story using her clings. It was so sweet to hear her little 3-year-old voice talking about Mary and "Foseph" and their little donkey riding to "Befflehem." She told me about the animals and the stable, the wise men and their presents.

Then she got all excited...It was the climax of her story...

"The fairy went to the field and told all the shepherds..."

"Don't be afraid, and no whining!"

I laughed until I cried! I took her in my arms and told her it was the best Christmas Story I've ever heard. 

Now...we just need to work on getting our facts straight...

Have your kids ever told you a hilarious version of a Bible Story?


Linking up here:

The one I didn't really want to write...

image by Master isolated images
www.freedigitalphotos.net

I've been trying to "get the word out" about my little blog.


In and of itself, getting the word out isn't a problem...

but my heart sure was.

At first I said to myself, "this is a wonderful way to share what God is teaching me"...

and it is.

But somehow it became an obsession desire to see if I'd gotten new followers or comments...

And then, somewhere along the way, I forgot my purpose...

image courtesy of graur codrin
www.freedigitalphotos.net

God has given me a gift to write, and I always intended to write everything for his glory...but I fell short.

As I spent some time in quiet reflection and prayer, I felt convicted and I felt the Holy Spirit saying...

"This attitude isn't right."

...and I realized, this "slip" back into Martha-ness (post here), the nagging feeling that something wasn't right...

It was all related. It's all because I lost my purpose...

You see, it's not really about me.

I knew that, but I lost sight of that truth. This blog and everything else in my life is for God's glory...except when my ego gets in the way...

I've confessed and asked for forgiveness. And that "not right feeling..."

It's gone.

His mercies are new every morning. I'm so thankful for that truth...even when it means I have to swallow my pride.