Monday, February 06, 2012

Who am I?

I wear a lot of hats. You probably do too...

I am a wife to Brian, mother to 3 beautiful children, daughter, sister, name a few.

But who am I really?

For way too many years, I spent more effort than I should have trying to figure all that out.

Somehow I bought into the lie that if I poured myself into the lives of others I would lose myself...

I made the mistake of thinking that my life was essentially all about me...
and I was lonely and sad and unfulfilled. 

I began to think that perhaps I just wasn't "cut out" to be a full time mom and homemaker. All I needed was something else, something more would certainly fill the longing in my heart...

At my lowest point, I scanned the help wanted ads secretly after my husband went to work. I was willing to give up being at home to seek personal fulfillment. But none of the jobs seemed to be what I wanted. And I cried out to God in my frustration,
What do you want from me?
What do you want me to be?

God answered me, and I heard it as clearly as if he spoke out loud:
I want you to be mine.
image courtesy of graur razvan ionut

At that moment, I saw my attempts in a new light... I was not seeking to find myself, I was seeking fulfillment in something other than Christ. My motivation was not nearly as altruistic as I had lied myself into believing...I was NOT seeking to be a better mother to Precious Girl by being "fulfilled". I was being selfish and it was ugly.

You see, who I am is really not that important. On my own strength I am frail and often unable or even unwilling...

But Jesus is all-sufficient. 

And when I allow my life to be an outpouring of his love for me, I am willing...I am able...I am much more than I could ever be on my own.

Who I am is not so important after all...

Knowing WHOSE I am makes all the difference.

Linking Up:


Michelle @ Liturgical Time said...

"Who I am is not so important after all...
Knowing WHOSE I am makes all the difference."
This is exquisite. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post.

Kristi Slattery said...

Thank you for your kind comment, Michelle! I've enjoyed browsing at your site as well!

Ellen Stumbo said...

Stopping by from the link-up :)
Great post! yes, we do belong to Him and that is all that matters!
Stop by my blog when you get a chance :)

Kasey @ TFOMplus2 said...

You expressed this so beautifully! We waste so much time trying to figure out who we are when all we need to know is that we are His!! Thank you so much for linking up!