Monday, February 20, 2012

When you can't...

I can't do this...

I really can't.

Another illness? Another one? How much more can I really take?
I feel the tears stinging behind my eyes as I use that cheerful fake voice, "Ok kids, everybody into the car. Let's go home and get some lunch!" I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it is the one person who will understand...

As I explain, she cries with me. As she prays, the frayed edges are bound and I can go home.

My next phone call, to my husband, affirms just how weary we both are of this string of illnesses and accidents..."What now, Brian?"

"Now, we pray."

As we drove home, my children and I prayed. Not the "thank you for this lovely day, Jesus" prayers that too easily fall from our lips.

We prayed the hard prayers. The prayers that stretch. The prayers that can only come in a place of trial.

And as we felt the answers, our focus returned to hope. Because no matter how weary we are, we always have hope....
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."

We made a decision in the car to claim a verse, make it into a poster and hang it in our home where we'd see it. 
We are pressed on every side by troubles, BUT WE ARE NOT CRUSHED. We are perplexed, BUT NOT DRIVEN TO DESPAIR. We are hunted down, but NEVER ABANDONED by God. We get knocked down, but we ARE NOT DESTROYED. 
2 Corinthians 4: 8 - 9

Even today as I prepare for another visit to the doctor I will not be crushed. I will not despair.

I will wait, I will pray, I will rest in the shadow of His wings...

When you can't, God is infinitely able.
When it's all unclear, God has an eternal plan.
When you can't see the way, God is in control.

Linking up with:
These Five of Mine...
The Straightened Path
The Better Mom
Deep Roots at Home
Bible Love Notes


The Momma said...

Thank you so much for linking up to The Straightened Path. You have no idea how encouraging this is to me today. I just squalled my eyes out last night as I listened to my 2 year old son wheeze during his sleep like he was a 60 year old man who'd just run up 10 flights of stairs. :( I feel so overwhelmed by his food allergy.

Just when he recovers from one exposure and asthma episode he seems to be accidentally exposed to something else. It is awful and I feel incapable of protecting him. I am going to copy this verse down and begin memorizing it immediately!

Kristi Slattery said...

What a challenge you face with your son's asthma! I will certainly pray for your momma's heart as you struggle with an on-going challenging illness. That verse is certainly powerful!

Kasey @ TFOMplus2 said...

I've been there...and can hear your pain. It's in the hard places that we often find our greatest growth! Those stretching prayers are the ones that teach us where our true strength comes from! May He continue to be very near to you!!

Gail Purath said...

It's interesting that when I began homeschooling I experienced some of my most difficult health challenges. I wish we could grow in Christ without difficulties, big and small. Bless you for sharing these thoughts--honest and godly! Thanks for joining Bless a Blogger. I pray that your week and your writing will be especially blessed! Gail

Piper said...

Hopped from Bless a Blogger. Stay strong speak those words out loud until you not only know them, but that you BELIEVE that God has got you!!! DO not allow defeat that the enemy wants to put you in.
"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10