I really can't.
Another illness? Another one? How much more can I really take?
I feel the tears stinging behind my eyes as I use that cheerful fake voice, "Ok kids, everybody into the car. Let's go home and get some lunch!" I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it is the one person who will understand...
As I explain, she cries with me. As she prays, the frayed edges are bound and I can go home.
My next phone call, to my husband, affirms just how weary we both are of this string of illnesses and accidents..."What now, Brian?"
"Now, we pray."
As we drove home, my children and I prayed. Not the "thank you for this lovely day, Jesus" prayers that too easily fall from our lips.
We prayed the hard prayers. The prayers that stretch. The prayers that can only come in a place of trial.
And as we felt the answers, our focus returned to hope. Because no matter how weary we are, we always have hope....
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."
We made a decision in the car to claim a verse, make it into a poster and hang it in our home where we'd see it.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, BUT WE ARE NOT CRUSHED. We are perplexed, BUT NOT DRIVEN TO DESPAIR. We are hunted down, but NEVER ABANDONED by God. We get knocked down, but we ARE NOT DESTROYED.
2 Corinthians 4: 8 - 9
Even today as I prepare for another visit to the doctor I will not be crushed. I will not despair.
I will wait, I will pray, I will rest in the shadow of His wings...
When you can't, God is infinitely able.
When it's all unclear, God has an eternal plan.
When you can't see the way, God is in control.
Linking up with:
These Five of Mine...
The Straightened Path
The Better Mom
Deep Roots at Home
Bible Love Notes