Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ashes for Beauty...A story of God's faithfulness

Two years ago today my youngest daughter was born.  By all accounts, we should have been facing a very sad anniversary. We very nearly lost her. Delivered weeks early by emergency c-section, we learned her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times and knotted. That is why she had stopped moving. By God's matchless mercy and grace Jordyn Grace is healthy and strong. To see her today, you'd never know that the NICU doctor was concerned that she may not be able to hear or see. This part of the story, however, is just part 2 of the miracle. Part 1 took place in my life just before her birth...

As I watched her put on her princess crown and skirt and dance this morning, my mind was transported back to the events of two years ago. Just prior to Jordyn's pregnancy, I suffered a miscarriage. It was a horrible, dark time for me. We had waited so long for another child, and the loss was almost more than I could bear. Sometimes, our miracles come in dark wrappings. You see, it was during this time that God became real. Sure, I knew Him before I lost the baby, but I didn't comprehend the depth of His love for me. I was angry, but I felt him wrap His arms around me as I cried and mourned that child I would never hold. I learned what it was to rest in the shadow of His wings. I know with certainty now that He hurts when His child hurts. He really does keep count of my tossing and turning, and keep my tears in a bottle. (See Psalm 56:8) Through all of that sorrow, God changed me and revealed himself to me in a way that is beyond my words.

Just 8 weeks after my miscarriage, I found out we were expecting Jordyn. When I started bleeding at 10 weeks, the icy fingers of fear were back. (Not again, Lord. I can't do this again!) But all was well and God calmed the storm in my heart. He knew how fragile I was, He gently lead me through the rest of my pregnancy.

The day of her birth, I hadn't felt her move all day. I knew something was wrong. Through a series of God-ordained events, my husband came home early. Had he gone to his appointment as expected, Jordyn may not be here. Soon after my arrival at the hospital for a non-stress test, we knew something was terribly wrong. Doctors and nurses kept leaving the room without saying a word. She was born by c-section just a short while later. The doctor came to see my husband when I was in the recovery room and told him "You don't know how lucky you are." Yes, we do. But luck really has nothing to do with it. God has a plan for Jordyn. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I am thankful that I will get to watch it unfold. Happy Birthday, Princess Jordyn.

No comments: