God, I feel...so...not enough...help me!
|image courtesy of arkorn freedigitalphotos.net|
But God showed me that it is...
|image courtesy of renjith krishnan freedigitalphotos.net|
Me? I just want to cry and maybe run away... And I have to repeat: I will not throw up, (breathe,) I will not throw up...as I tell Little Man that it will be ok.
He looks at me with those beautifully clear not-quite-blue eyes, and says, "I love you, Mommy. I'm glad you are here."
And I realize that my children and husband don't need me to be like my mother.
They need... me.
The me that cries and fusses over them when they are sick. The me that prays over them. The me that gets mad at sickness of any kind and considers germ elimination a kind of mommy-warfare...
I needed to transform my thinking by renewing my mind...
I don't need to be supermom.
It's ok that I hurt when my precious children are sick.
It's ok if I cry when I hold them.
It's ok that I am not perfect. They don't need or expect me to be.
So as I scrub, I pray. I try to recall as many scriptures as I can about health and healing... And I can point their eyes to a loving God who heals. And so, I am...enough.
And I can smile at yet another spiritual truth I have learned while in the trenches of mothering.
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