Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Highs and lows...

There has been a bit of a poem floating around in my head lately... "and when she was good, she was very, very good; and when she was bad, she was horrid." (I think it's Longfellow, but I'd have to check to be sure.) Anyway, it seems like this sentiment is quite applicable to our homeschooling adventure this year. When it is good, it is a wonderful, blissful, I-can't-ever-imagine-doing-anything-else kind of feeling. When it is bad...well, you get the idea.

As I was reflecting on all of this, the wind blew a door shut somewhere upstairs. The resulting loud noise and startled scream from one of the children was enough to wake up an already-grouchy toddler. Nap time is "my" time and I had a lot I needed to get done. I could feel my blood start to boil. "Who didn't prop their door open???" It was an accusation, not a question really.

Well, as it turns out, it was me. I was the culprit. Sigh!

Properly humbled, I put the toddler back down for the rest of her much-needed nap, and apologized to my other children for assuming it was one of them who left the offending door un-propped.

As I sat back down, I prayerfully re-evaluated our situation. The problem isn't so much that we've had some rough patches so far this year in our homeschooling. I expect we always will. The problem is, that is what I am focusing on. God gently reminded me to take a step back and enjoy the journey. Just a few moments before the door blew shut, I was thanking God for the beautiful breeze. How quickly I was irritated by something that was, while I was focused on God, seen as a blessing. I need to remember that I am completely dependent on God to do what He has called me to do. I'll only ever be disappointed when I focus on my agenda, and not His calling.

Does this mean tomorrow will be perfect? I seriously doubt it. But it will be His perfect will for my life.

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