The comparison trap...

I've shared several days of homeschooling tips this week, but this last one is very close to my heart...

As a homeschooling mom, it is very easy to fall into the "comparison trap." After all, many of us (when we really admit it) have a bit of silent insecurity about the whole homeschooling thing - we're different, and many in society question our decision to teach at home. Sometimes at the end of a hard day, we may even wonder if we're capable of doing this...

This insecurity can rear its ugly head especially when we start to compare our children or our homeschooling with others.

All of Mrs. Smith's children read by the time they were 4 and are doing advanced algebra in 3rd grade. You may have a 2nd grader struggling with subtraction and a 5th grader who still struggles with reading. You may begin to wonder, is she more qualified to homeschool? What is her secret? Or more destructively, what am I doing wrong?

Mrs. Jones' children are all accomplished musicians and they have a family band. Your children can barely play Mary had a Little Lamb on the ipad app...are you a musical failure?...are your children destined for a life of musical ignorance??

How is her house always clean, and her laundry always done? She even bakes her own bread???!!!

The comparison trap is a slippery slope. It's so easy to begin that downward slide just by looking at someone else's accomplishments and seeing how you fall short. Comparing ourselves to others is quietly destructive because it's a trap that we set for ourselves.

Our skewed comparisons are not how our Heavenly Father sees us. I don't think God looks down at my humble little homeschool and says, "her bread never rises evenly, and are those shriveled peas on the kitchen floor?" He is infinitely loving and sees even our meager obedience as a sign of faith.

Whenever we start to compare ourselves with others, it is harmful. Why?


We can't look around us and still keep our eyes focused on God. 

He doesn't want his beloved homeschooling daughters to walk around this earth feeling inadequate for our calling just because someone else has different gifts.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139: 14 ESV

I've found that this verse is very comforting when I have to climb out of the pit of comparison. It's like a lifeline for me!

image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono
freedigitalphotos.net

I am fearfully and wonderfully made and so are you. (Go ahead and say it out loud!) Our gifts may be vastly different, but we both cause our Father to rejoice with singing! 

The same God who made sunsets that leave us breathless with their beauty, made us. His work in fashioning us is no less wonderful. Your unique gifts are perfectly suited to raise and homeschool your children.

If you are struggling with comparisons that aren't beneficial, remember the last line of the verse, "my soul knows it very well." It's ok to know and recognize the wonderful gifts that God has poured into your life. Know them and use them to His glory and you'll avoid the comparison trap!

Linking Up:
Our Simple Country Life
Raising Mighty Arrows

Planning...next steps

I've talked a lot about planning lately...but once you have all those wonderful materials for next year, now what?

Since I use a wide range of materials, nothing is planned out for me. It's a lot of work over the summer, but when you are sitting on the patio enjoying the beautiful sunshine with some cold lemonade, it is actually quite enjoyable.

The first step, is page through all the materials and try to decide how to break up long chapters into manageable pieces, or decide how many days a week we will use the materials. Then I sit down with my planning grids and write away...I plan everything from quizzes to movies to extra books from the library...All of this up-front work saves a lot of time during the school year.

This grid is set up to plan any subject for up to 5 days a week. You are welcome to get a free copy of my planner at the following link: Blank Lesson Planner. (When you print it, be sure to change the orientation to landscape so it prints correctly.)

I fill one of these lesson planners out for each subject. Then as we go through our school year, I check off the boxes as the assignments are completed. I like the flexibility of this system - if Little Man wants to do an extra lesson of Math, I just check off an extra box and it hasn't ruined weeks of plans.

Then I take the lesson plans by subject and put them on individual assignment sheets for each of my kids. Yes, this is a bit labor intensive, but necessary in our house. The kids were confused looking over the grids to find their assignments and I got tired of having to write each assignment on the white board. I print out one week's worth of assignment sheets and put them in a 3 ring binder. The kids can look at their assignments even if I'm busy.

I only plan one week at a time. (And, coincidentally, I don't post on Fridays because I usually spend that afternoon after co-op planning for the following week.) If someone isn't able to complete everything on their assignment sheet, it just gets moved forward to the following week. If someone completes extra lessons, I record them and check them off on the planners - again, it doesn't mess up 2 weeks worth of carefully planned assignment sheets.

I've found this is a really useful assignment sheet, 1 page per day for upper grades (6th +). You are welcome to get a free copy at the following link: Assignment Sheet Upper Grades. When I use this for Precious Girl, I print it 2 sided so I don't waste paper.

Here is a link to the another week-at-a-time assignment sheet for those who like that system better: Assignment Sheet Weekly. (Be sure to change the orientation to landscape so it prints properly.)

I hope these resources were helpful to you!

Blessings as you plan,