It's about time...

Too many days of too much to do and too few hours in the day have left me both weary and defeated.

image by digitalart freedigitalphotos.net

I felt like I was doing nothing well, and I was frustrated at my inability...

I sat down at the keyboard many times over the past few days, and sat and watched the cursor blinking, the blank box for a blog post mocking me....

And I heard that little voice again:

you can't do this...

Only this time, it was not a lie.

This time, it was the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit calling me away.

The time for writing and posting would come...It was time to surrender, to listen, to learn...

It was time to bask in the presence of my Savior and spend time with him... Time to apply the life-giving words I've been reading - to let them fully soak into my heart and mind...

Time to rest...to reflect...to renew my vision for my calling as a wife, as a mother, as a teacher of my precious ones...

Time...

My time is all I have to offer those I love. Time to teach my children, to love my husband, to bear witness to the Lord's goodness...

When my time is His time first, the weariness fades, the defeat becomes victory, and the striving ceases.

My circumstances have not changed, just my focus.

My contentment and joy return, and so do the words...
The blinking cursor, no longer mocking, calls me deeper...

Tending the soil...

My little seedlings grew quickly and my husband and I have been working hard (well, ok mostly my hubby) to prepare our garden beds.

Sayan Samana freedigitalphotos.net

We've picked out rocks, tended the soil, pulled weeds...all in preparation for the harvest this summer.

As I've been tending the little plants, I can't help but think about my kids.

How have I tended the soil in their lives?

Have I been a good example of the way in which they should go...or have I been more of a "do as I say, not as I do" mom?

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child...

(Proverbs 22:15 ESV)

Just this morning I found Little One hiding behind the sofa desperately trying to cover up evidence of a "stolen" snack after momma said, "No." When confronted, despite the evidence to the contrary, she tried to lie. "I didn't eat the snack, I just look at it." Hmmm...

Those instances are easy to address. But perhaps, there is a bit of folly in my own heart...Did I answer too sharply? Was I too quick to show my frustration? Should I listen more and speak less?

I think I'll use this opportunity to tend my own heart so I can lead my children by quiet example.

Be still and know...

Be still and know that I am God. 

(Psalm 46:10)

That little reminder hangs above the door in my kitchen. I pass it countless times during the day, but I don't often take the time to reflect on its meaning...

God is calling to my heart, His voice a quiet echo in my heart and mind...

be still, my child...

My flesh cries out,

but I'm so busy...I have all these things to do...

When I pause to reflect, I realize my attitude is completely unlovely. I was telling God:

I don't have time for you, God. Not now.

Ouch!

God wants us to be still in the midst of our high calling as mothers. God wants us to be still in the midst of our duties.

God wants our hearts to beat in time with his. God wants our thoughts to be his thoughts. God wants our dreams to be his dreams for our families.

He wants us to know that he is God.

Just between you and me...

Quiet times are rare - precious and fleeting moments when you are able to see God's handiwork in your children...times when you are able to see into their little hearts and minds and understand who they are.

In the midst of the hustle and bustle of everyday busyness, they are easy to miss.

It may be as subtle as recognizing an unformed question, and helping the child to figure out what is bothering them.

It may be listening as they sort through a problem with a friend, asking questions that help them to figure out for themselves the right course of action.

It may be putting down what you are doing and really listening.

It may just require a hug and a kiss or a well-timed "I love you."

But as your child grows, they may be less likely to share everything as they did when they were little. For that reason, it is vitally important to establish communication with your children when they are small, when it is easier.

image courtesy of nuttakit freedigitalphotos.net

When Precious Girl was in first grade, I gave her a handmade book filled with blank notebook pages to write on. On the cover, I wrote "Just Between You and Me." I explained that if she ever wanted to tell me something, or ask me a question, all she had to do was write it in the book and leave it on my bed. Then, I would write something back to her.

Many times, when I've sensed that something's bothering Precious Girl, I've found the book on my bed. Sometimes the issues are big, sometimes small, but every time I've thanked God that I have an opportunity to know what is on my little girl's heart and mind.

This book is a treasure trove of conversations between mother and daughter. Sometimes, I look back over the pages and remember...Someday, its pages will be filled, or maybe even unnecessary...So each time I have the privilege of writing to my daughter's heart, I am thankful for that chance to speak into her life.

Linking Up:
Growing Home
These Five of Mine...
The Better Mom
Deep Roots at Home

Delight yourself...

Delight yourself in the Lord 

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4 ESV

Is Jesus your delight? Does your time with him cause your soul to sing and your heart to smile?

Or is your devotional time 

just another thing that you do?

image courtesy of Willem Siers
freedigitalphotos.net

This is something that I've been praying for quite a bit. I don't ever want my time with the Lord to be "just another task" to check off my list.

I want that sweet time in his word, in his presence, to be something that I desire...something that I cannot live without.

I want the sweetness of his presence to linger with me as I go through my day, I want the joy of his love to bubble through me to those around me.

I want my feet firmly rooted in his promises so that I can gently guide the 3 little hearts I've been charged with.

I want my children to see their mother satisfied, not by a beautiful house or things of this world, but by Christ alone.

The things of this world, while sometimes lovely, do not satisfy.

I don't want to settle for the good 

at the expense of the best.

We, as mothers, have a high calling. May all you do today be a delight!

Linking Up:
The Straightened Path
Far Above Rubies
Growing Home
Time-Warp Wife

What if...

I read a quote on a friend's facebook page the other day, and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind...

word art by Kristi Slattery

*Disclaimer: I tried to find the original author of the quote I used in this blog post, 

but was unsuccessful. If you know, please contact me so I can give the proper credit! 

Thank you. *

I was convicted. Seriously convicted. 

What would I have if I woke up with only the things I was thankful for? Sadly, not much.

I had thanked God for my food, and I had thanked him for his healing presence in a friend's life...but that was all I could remember...

Granted, there could be more things that I just didn't remember, but let's not sugar-coat this. I was stunned and saddened by my lack of thankfulness for all of the blessings in my life. 

My mind began to race. 

Surely, I had thanked God for my husband. Hadn't I? We celebrated his birthday, we celebrated him...But I don't remember taking a moment to thank God for the wonderful blessing my husband is to our family. 

Tears stung my eyes...

My beautiful children...had I thanked God for these 3 amazing little miracles? I'm ashamed to admit that I hadn't. The tears flowed freely with that awful realization...

Heavenly Father, how could I be so ungrateful?

As we move toward Easter Sunday, I resolved to take this week to reflect on the blessings in my life -  chief of which is my Savior's gift of eternal life. 

So today, as I watched my children, heads bent over school books, I thanked God for each of them...For Precious Girl's diligence, for Little Man's compassionate heart, for Little One's joy...I thanked God for my husband, that my husband was working so hard for us, and that God had provided more than enough for our family...I thanked God for the music Precious Girl played on the piano...I thanked God for the love of learning...I thanked God for our clothing as I washed and folded the laundry...I thanked God for my home as I swept the floors...

It changed me. Instead of seeing all I had to do, I saw all that I could lose...

Thank you, Jesus, for a second chance!

Linking Up:
Far Above Rubies
Growing Home
Time-Warp Wife
Hip Homeschool Hop

The myth of "me" time...

I've heard it several different ways, but the gist is always the same...

I could never homeschool my kids. I need some "me" time.

This statement has always made me bristle. I can't really explain why, but I kind of hate the presumption that:
#1: because I homeschool I am somehow above selfishness (soooooo not true!)
#2: we deserve "me" time

Let me take off my superhero cape for a moment as dispel myth #1. Homeschooling your children does not confer superhuman abilities to overcome frustration and selfishness in any mother. In fact, it gives you innumerable opportunities to experience frustration and selfishness.  *wink* The difference is, most homeschooling moms I know choose not to give in to their flesh and prayerfully submit to their calling. Does this mean it is easy? um, no!

Case in point: Last week was a nightmare. Truly! No one seemed to be in the right frame of mind to do school (including the momma) and each day was a monumental struggle. By Monday evening, an entire week's worth of weariness had settled in. My amazing husband saved the day by arranging a coffee date with a dear friend (and fellow homeschooling mom) so I could recharge my attitude.

image courtesy Stuart Miles
freedigitalphotos.net

I suppose it could be said that this was "me" time...But that isn't how I see it. You see, the focus -for both my friend and I - was NOT on "woe is me, this is soooo hard" but rather encouraging each other and building each other up to face the rest of the week with a better heart attitude.

Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17 ESV

Don't get me wrong, I love a mom's night out as much as the next homeschooling mom...but "me" time? Really?!?

I think that is the wrong focus. With our time away, shouldn't our focus be on refreshing ourselves so we can be a better wife and mom?

That's just what happened with our coffee date. We commiserated with each other. Listened to each other. Encouraged each other (or, at least I hope she was encouraged!). We left the coffee shop ready to face another few days of homeschooling.

So please grab a girlfriend and take some precious time to refresh your heart. It will make you a better mom, a better wife, a better friend. When you are running on empty it is hard to give. Time with the Lord will refill us with renewed energy and vision. Time with a dear friend can give you the strength to move forward.

Just please remember, "Me" time is a myth.

Raising children is hard. Being a wife is a difficult job even if you are married to a wonderful man. If all I focus on is "me" then my kids and husband will suffer. My attitude will bottom out and everything in our home will be yucky. (sorry, I really couldn't think of a better word.) "Me" time assumes that how I feel is more important than anything or anyone else.

What if, instead of "me" time, we focused on "Jesus time"? That is the only thing that promises to make us both better wives and mothers.

Sprinkle in a few times of refreshment and encouragement with other Godly women and that sounds like a recipe for success.

Linking Up:
The Straightened Path
These Five of Mine Plus Two
The Better Mom

Train up your child...

Homeschooling is about so much more than ABCs and 123s. Focusing on academics would be much easier...

image courtesy of bulldogza
freedigitalphotos.net

But that isn't my calling, nor is it my heart's desire.

Of what use is a head full of knowledge if it hasn't been lovingly shaped into wisdom? What have we accomplished in our little homeschool if my children's hearts haven't been softened and shaped by the Holy Spirit?

Character training is so difficult. In fact, it is often the most demanding part of my "job" as a mom. But it is absolutely essential. In a world that tells us whatever feels good is right, it is my duty to teach my children a more excellent standard.

Sometimes, as I open God's word to train my children, I realize that I still need some work. *smile* But that is the beauty of training. I can speak truth to my own heart as I teach my little ones. I can apologize to my children when my actions weren't right, repent and go forward - hopefully in a better way.

In the midst of all the training, I feel exhausted. Working on first-time obedience with Little One is a full-time job in itself. Helping my older children learn diligence and perseverance in their school work requires my full attention...and I feel so inadequate for the enormity of my task.

image courtesy of dan freedigitalphotos.net

This is not a battle won by my human efforts. This is a battle won on my knees as I pray and intercede for my children. This is an ongoing work of God in my children's lives.

Just when I feel I am making no progress, God lovingly shows me the fruit of my labors. Little One didn't get what she wanted and joyfully exclaimed, "I didn't whine, Mommy!" Little Man labored over 100 multiplication facts with focus and smiled as I congratulated his efforts. Precious Girl folded some laundry as she read her Chemistry lesson, and I applauded her helpfulness.

As the Holy Spirit tends to my children's hearts (and mine too!) I know that all the love and attention poured into them now will bear fruit.

Some day, when I am on the other side of all this training, I will sit back and enjoy the beauty I see in my children.

It will be worth it.

A bittersweet anniversary...

Today is a bittersweet day. Always I meet it with trepidation because I am not sure how my heart will react. I have healed, but I never forget...

This year, I awoke with a smile. It is a wistful smile, but a smile nonetheless.

She would have turned 4 today. 

But there will be no party, no balloons or presents...

And my heart wonders...

As I hear the laughter of my other children, I wonder how her laughter would have blended with theirs.... I wonder if she would have had my green eyes or her father's dark hair...I wonder how it would feel to hold her in my arms...

But it was not to be. 

Her life, although brief, changed mine forever.

Because of her, I know that God's grace is sufficient.

Because of her, I hold my other 3 blessings a little tighter.

Because of her, I know that my Abba Father loves me deeply - and that His love is all I need.

Because of her, I can say

the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away;
blessed be the name of the LORD.
(Job 1:21 KJV)

Happy Birthday, sweet baby.




Linking Up:
Women Living Well
Deep Roots at Home
A Wise Woman Builds...

Our book review policy...

image courtesy Phiseksit freedigitalphotos.net

We have a review policy in our house. That means, whenever the children want to read something that we haven't read, my husband or I must review the book in question first.

Sometimes a very cursory review is acceptable. When we're in the library, it often takes nothing more than reading the back of the book or scanning a few pages to make a decision. Other times, my children can say, "So and so read this book and said it was amazing/funny/interesting..." If I know the child who recommended the book (and what their parents allow), I can often give my permission without hesitation.

Sometimes, it's a bit more tricky than that.

Recently, Precious Girl mentioned that she wanted to read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Despite all of the recent media hype, I had never heard of the book or the author. (No, I don't live under a rock. I just don't really watch TV that much...)

I did a quick search on our local library's website and found (to my disappointment) that there were over 100 holds on the book. At that rate, she would be able to read it sometime before she graduates...When I mentioned the book to my husband, he said that he'd heard it's being made into a movie and that it was very popular among the middle school crowd.

To make a long story short, we ordered the trilogy with the stipulation that I would read the books first according to our "review policy." I presumed I'd find little to stop Precious Girl from reading it. I had read a review on Focus on the Family (link here). They included some very compelling discussion questions at the end of the article and I felt prepared for what I'd find in the pages.

I was wrong.

I tried to read with the eyes of my little girl, and I was stunned and disturbed at what I read.

Many people I know and respect have read the book and enjoyed it -- but they are adults. As a book marketed and targeted to children, I knew it was not for my daughter's eyes...at least not now.

You see, this post really isn't about the Hunger Games at all. Next year...next week there will be another book hot off the presses that promises to be another bestseller. But that doesn't mean my children will read it. It also doesn't necessarily mean that they won't...

But their father and I will decide. Hopefully with both prayer and wisdom we will decide what books cross the threshold of our home.

For better or for worse we help our children choose what fills their tender minds and hearts. We try to guide them to make choices that will help them learn and grow. Sometimes, they will have to read about difficult topics - but not alone. We will be there to ask questions, to provide answers, to pray. The hope is, that we are raising children who will make good choices in what to read. Choices, not dependent on what is popular, but on what is right for them.

So, for now, our review policy stands. We will not allow the world's standards of acceptability to influence our choices for our children. We will make mistakes along the way, but we will learn and grow and continue to look for

whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence,
if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8 ESV

Linking Up:
Far Above Rubies
Growing Home
Time Warp Wife
Workin' It Mondays

Living each day...

Did you ever have one of those days where you just wanted to turn back the clock? Maybe it was one of those awful days that you'd just rather erase from memory...

or, if you are lucky, it is one of those wonderful days you'd like to re-live over and over again...

But whatever the reason, we really can't get time back. As much as we'd like to either forget or re-live moments, it's just not possible.

We do have the opportunity, however, to live each day to the fullest.

To be fully present with our children.
To be fully engaged with our husbands.
To be fully obedient to our Heavenly Father.

I pray for days that fill us with wonder and excitement. For days we'd love to re-live... for days full of Jesus...for love...for laughter...for peace...

Have a wonderful day!

A new reading plan...

A few years ago, I embarked on an ambitious mission - to read through the entire Bible in one year. It helped that there was a nicely laid out reading plan right in the back of my Bible. Each day as I read, I felt immense satisfaction as I checked off the day's reading. That time with God every morning became precious to me - something that I hungered for, and missed when I forgot my reading for the day.

image courtesy Arvind Balaraman freedigitalphotos.net

I learned so much that year, and if you haven't done that, I'd highly recommend it! There are some wonderful reading plans available online - and they are FREE (that is certainly important to this homeschooling momma, who tends to be a bit cheap frugal). Back to the Bible (link here) has several offerings on their website. My favorite one is the chronological study - through it, you read the Bible in order as events happened in time, not just Genesis through Revelation. My husband and I did that study many years ago and it was awe-inspiring to see how God laid out his story in the Bible.

Lately, however, I haven't felt called to read through God's whole book cover to cover. I've simply read what I feel my heart pulled to each morning. For me, an inveterate list-maker, it's refreshing to have no particular goal in mind but to read what God wants to teach me for the day. It should come as no surprise that the passages I read are always exactly what I've needed to hear from my Heavenly Father. Isn't God awesome?!

More and more, I find my attention drawn to the Book of Proverbs. The richness of what God has laid out for his children overwhelms me and it has cultivated a new love of the scriptures in my life! That book is truly an instruction manual for living God's way, and I find myself eagerly poring over what God has to say to me.

One day, as I was reading Proverbs chapter 31, it occurred to me that there are also 31 days in many months...and I smiled as I realized that God's instruction manual in the Proverbs could be read, one chapter a day each and every day of the month (sometimes you'll have to double up, but you see what I'm getting at). Each morning, with my cup of coffee (and often a Little One on my lap), I've read a chapter of Proverbs. It has been amazing! What is more, these beautiful verses are becoming familiar friends! Someday maybe I will even be able to memorize some of my favorites just by continuous re-reading...

As mothers, it's so easy to prioritize other things above reading the Bible (I do it too!). But we would be better wives and mothers if we'd take a few moments out of each day and read what God has to say to us...no matter what reading plan we follow.

As we approach the beginning of a new month, I invite you to try it too! Or even better, just jump right in today and start reading in Chapter 13!

for I find my delight in your commandments,

which I love.

Psalm 119: 47

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,

that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Psalm 90: 14

Blessings on your quiet time with the Lord,

Linking Up:
Far Above Rubies
Growing Home
Time-Warp Wife

Is your heart hidden?

Thank you to Kingdom Housewives for the image!

Yesterday, this popped up in my facebook news feed several times. At first, I ignored it. Sometimes the things people share are not for my eyes...But it kept drawing my attention...So I took a chance and clicked on it...

My eyes filled with tears as I realized the truth that this little image contained. As I heard my husband's laughter drift in on the breeze from our backyard baseball game with friends, I wondered, have I been living with my heart hidden in God?

Sadly, the answer for this weekend, is probably no. I've been living with my heart hidden in homeschool planning, recipe gathering, spring decorating and searching for local Irish Dance feisanna... I've been a bit distracted and (dare I admit it?) irritable grumpy.

Whenever the things of this world become my focus, I become self-absorbed and a bit less pleasant to live with. While the planning and recipe gathering etc. are all worthwhile pursuits, they should not have become my focus.

When my eyes and heart are firmly affixed on Jesus, I am better - a better wife, a better mom, a better friend...

I want my heart so hidden in Christ that my husband has to seek Him to find me!

Blessings,

The comparison trap...

I've shared several days of homeschooling tips this week, but this last one is very close to my heart...

As a homeschooling mom, it is very easy to fall into the "comparison trap." After all, many of us (when we really admit it) have a bit of silent insecurity about the whole homeschooling thing - we're different, and many in society question our decision to teach at home. Sometimes at the end of a hard day, we may even wonder if we're capable of doing this...

This insecurity can rear its ugly head especially when we start to compare our children or our homeschooling with others.

All of Mrs. Smith's children read by the time they were 4 and are doing advanced algebra in 3rd grade. You may have a 2nd grader struggling with subtraction and a 5th grader who still struggles with reading. You may begin to wonder, is she more qualified to homeschool? What is her secret? Or more destructively, what am I doing wrong?

Mrs. Jones' children are all accomplished musicians and they have a family band. Your children can barely play Mary had a Little Lamb on the ipad app...are you a musical failure?...are your children destined for a life of musical ignorance??

How is her house always clean, and her laundry always done? She even bakes her own bread???!!!

The comparison trap is a slippery slope. It's so easy to begin that downward slide just by looking at someone else's accomplishments and seeing how you fall short. Comparing ourselves to others is quietly destructive because it's a trap that we set for ourselves.

Our skewed comparisons are not how our Heavenly Father sees us. I don't think God looks down at my humble little homeschool and says, "her bread never rises evenly, and are those shriveled peas on the kitchen floor?" He is infinitely loving and sees even our meager obedience as a sign of faith.

Whenever we start to compare ourselves with others, it is harmful. Why?


We can't look around us and still keep our eyes focused on God. 

He doesn't want his beloved homeschooling daughters to walk around this earth feeling inadequate for our calling just because someone else has different gifts.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139: 14 ESV

I've found that this verse is very comforting when I have to climb out of the pit of comparison. It's like a lifeline for me!

image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono
freedigitalphotos.net

I am fearfully and wonderfully made and so are you. (Go ahead and say it out loud!) Our gifts may be vastly different, but we both cause our Father to rejoice with singing! 

The same God who made sunsets that leave us breathless with their beauty, made us. His work in fashioning us is no less wonderful. Your unique gifts are perfectly suited to raise and homeschool your children.

If you are struggling with comparisons that aren't beneficial, remember the last line of the verse, "my soul knows it very well." It's ok to know and recognize the wonderful gifts that God has poured into your life. Know them and use them to His glory and you'll avoid the comparison trap!

Linking Up:
Our Simple Country Life
Raising Mighty Arrows

A Bonus Day...

image courtesy of Anusorn P Nachol freedigitalphotos.net

Happy Leap Day! What a wonderful gift an extra day is...


I had a whole list of things planned. I was going to take this "bonus" day and cross off a bunch of projects and get things done...like organizing the basement...


But I felt God calling me to something different, something eternal...


So today, I will tell my children that their Father in Heaven rejoices over them, and exults over them with singing 
(Zephaniah 3:17).


Today, I will remind them they have nothing to fear...

For I, the LORD your God,

hold your right hand;

it is I who way to you, "Fear not,

I am the one who helps you."

Isaiah 41:13

Today, they will know that the work of God is to

"...believe in him whom he has sent."

John 6:29

and that

"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, 

and the truth will set you free."

John 8:31 - 32

What if, on this extra day of 2012, we...
...embraced every opportunity?
       ...took every thought captive for Christ?
               ...loved our neighbor as ourselves?
                      ...prayed without ceasing?
                          ...gave thanks in everything?
                               ...walked by faith and not by sight?

Happy Leap Day, everyone. 

Morning music...

I smiled first thing this morning and it was a wonderful way to start my day.

I heard Little One's sleepy voice call out "daaaaaa-dddeeeee..." My husband walked into her room and quietly told her it's too early for her to start her day.

She was unconvinced.

As my husband and I sat and sipped our coffee and tried to wake up, we heard little footsteps on the stairs.

Little One was standing in the hallway smiling at her daddy.

We snuggled her on the sofa with a blanket and she closed her still-sleepy eyes. Precious Girl came down a few moments later, quickly followed by her brother...

I asked Little One what woke her so early. "Mommy, the birdies sing their morning music to me and I get waked up."

image courtesy of Rosemary Ratcliff freedigitalphotos.net

As I sit here typing, I can hear our family's "morning music" in the background. The sound of a shower...the whir of the washing machine...the sound of a nebulizer...pages turning in a favorite book...the sound of a large lego battle...Little One reading a story to her blankie...the occasional giggle...the refrigerator door opening - and closing...the noise of the dishwasher being emptied...

It's a symphony to my ears. I'm so glad I got up early to hear the music in our home.

Good morning, God...

image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev freedigitalphotos.net

Good morning, God.

I'm so thankful for today. The frost sparkles on the grass as the sun begins to peek over the horizon. What a beautiful sight!

My Little One snuggles in my lap and I drink in her sweet almost-baby smell. I'm so thankful that we get to see your sunrise gift together today.

The smell of warm coffee wakes my Precious Girl and she comes downstairs and smiles at me. That smile is the greatest gift of today.

Little Man wakes uncharacteristically early and joins us as we watch the sun begin to rise over the trees.

It is going to be a good day!

Happy Monday, everyone. I hope that you will look for the blessings God has hidden in this wonderful day!

This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118: 24

When you can...

Yesterday I posted about the wonderful grace of God for those times when you feel like

you. just. can't...

(you can read it here if you'd like.)

But as I was spending time reading the Bible this morning, I realized that the times when we believe (mistakenly) that we can do it all are perhaps more dangerous...

When I feel weak and insufficient I am quick to fall on my knees and cry out to God. In those moments there is nothing else that I can do but pray...

Those "I-can't-do-this-one-more-moment" times draw me nearer to my Heavenly Father and he feels as close as my next breath...

The danger comes when life gets better...

When illnesses are healed...

When good times return...

When hospital bills are paid in full...

When life becomes ordinary, I fall into the trap of self-reliance. I forget how desperately I need my savior because there is no imminent danger. When the road ahead is straight and the course seems clear, I forget that I am not enough...I forget that I don't forge my own way in the world...

image courtesy of Ambro freedigitalphotos.net

God wants to be just as close to us during times of plenty as he is during times of desperate need.

What if -when life is coasting along just fine - we were still desperate for His presence?

What if - when we really believe that we CAN do all things -

we didn't forget the second part of the verse...

through Christ who strengthens me?

(Philippians 4:13)

Our goal as wives and mothers should be to live each day in humble reliance on God...

especially on the good days...

when it's so easy to forget.

When we walk through the valleys of life, it is easy to look toward the Father to guide and lead us through those scary places. But when the path is easy and our burden really does feel light, will we remember? Will we still acknowledge our insufficiency? 

It is my prayer that we will.

Linking Up:
Far Above Rubies
Growing Home
Time-Warp Wife
Deep Roots at Home

When you can't...

I can't do this...

I really can't.

Another illness? Another one? How much more can I really take?
I feel the tears stinging behind my eyes as I use that cheerful fake voice, "Ok kids, everybody into the car. Let's go home and get some lunch!" I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it is the one person who will understand...

As I explain, she cries with me. As she prays, the frayed edges are bound and I can go home.

My next phone call, to my husband, affirms just how weary we both are of this string of illnesses and accidents..."What now, Brian?"

"Now, we pray."

As we drove home, my children and I prayed. Not the "thank you for this lovely day, Jesus" prayers that too easily fall from our lips.

We prayed the hard prayers. The prayers that stretch. The prayers that can only come in a place of trial.

And as we felt the answers, our focus returned to hope. Because no matter how weary we are, we always have hope....

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."

We made a decision in the car to claim a verse, make it into a poster and hang it in our home where we'd see it. 

We are pressed on every side by troubles, BUT WE ARE NOT CRUSHED. We are perplexed, BUT NOT DRIVEN TO DESPAIR. We are hunted down, but NEVER ABANDONED by God. We get knocked down, but we ARE NOT DESTROYED. 

2 Corinthians 4: 8 - 9

Even today as I prepare for another visit to the doctor I will not be crushed. I will not despair.

I will wait, I will pray, I will rest in the shadow of His wings...

When you can't, God is infinitely able.
When it's all unclear, God has an eternal plan.
When you can't see the way, God is in control.

Linking up with:
These Five of Mine...
The Straightened Path
The Better Mom
Deep Roots at Home
Bible Love Notes

Life lessons...

Today is my birthday and I'm kind of excited.

Precious girl and her daddy helped to make sure the house was lovely when I woke up this morning - that is always a blessing! Especially after I was away. She also decorated the house with streamers and signs, and fresh coffee was awaiting me when I (finally!) woke up this morning. I feel thoroughly spoiled and it's only 8:30 a.m.!

Birthdays are a lovely way to reflect on the past year and to take stock of some life lessons you've learned. While I don't profess to have any special wisdom (I'm certainly not old enough for that yet *wink*) I thought I'd share my journey so we could learn together...

1. I am more selfish than I admit.
I want to homeschool but still have my home look presentable and have the laundry done and wholesome food prepared. Notice how all these things are what "I" want. (sigh) What God wants is that I obediently walk with him and teach our children at home during this season. He is gently leading me to stop and pray before I make my to-do list for the day. When I do that, somehow all those things get done and no one feels frazzled by the time daddy gets home.

2. I need my time with Jesus.
A little while ago, I would have answered that the first thing I needed in the morning was a cup of coffee steaming hot with cream and sugar...Ok, I still need that but I love that God is cultivating a true love of his word in my heart. On those mornings where I opt to have coffee but no time in the word, the day will not go smoothly. I'm learning to do both and I love the sweet things God teaches me during those times - even if it's not quiet...which leads me to point #3...

3. "Quiet" time won't happen most days...
I had a mistaken vision of my mornings that went something like this...
I would wake up and come downstairs and brew a cup of coffee. And while I snuggled up on my favorite couch and read my Bible, the sunlight would peek over the horizon and I'd be fed, showered and dressed before my children woke up...
Sounds nice right? Here's the reality. Whatever time I set my alarm for, the children will be up first. It is almost a guarantee. So that means I am often reading my Bible on the kitchen counter while fixing breakfast for three hungry little people. That means there are crumbs and food stains in my Bible. At least you will be able to know I've read it. My quiet time will come...which leads me to point #4...

4. I need to cherish this phase of life...
Ever say "things will be so much easier when (insert name) is potty trained, and (insert name) doesn't need a nap"... This part of life with little ones is fleeting and I need to enjoy the journey more. Precious Girl will be 12 in a few months; it goes too fast.In whatever phase of mommydom you find yourself, take time to enjoy those precious fleeting moments. All too soon the house will actually BE quiet in the morning...

5. My husband is more amazing than I give him credit for...
Ladies, your husband is a gift from God. He also may do things very differently than you'd do them, but that is ok. Let him do things his own way. He has just as much wisdom as you do.
Early on in our marriage, (and sadly, more recently than that...) I used to try and correct my husband and teach him the "right" way to do things. Now I know that he makes a better egg in the nest than I do, and he is much better at vacuuming, and the laundry always gets folded when he's watching football (it helps him track the time or something)...

6. I am going to mess up...
My favorite Bible verse is Lamentations 3: 22 - 23 for that reason!

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Linking up with:

Women Living Well

Deep Roots at Home

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home...